Day 30: Nailed it!!!!
Welcome to Day 30 of my 30 days to sobriety!
How do I feel? Am I sober?
I have drowned in sugar (which my system would normally punish me badly for). I have forgotten meetings left right and centre. My heart rate variability has not improved at all. I am chaos basically.
However I feel more inspired, more energetic (well not until I have had 10 hours sleep but that is the spoonie life). I’m Happier. Mostly I feel proud that I have kept my word to me. I think I have improved my relationship with myself. Dramatically. I feel this is step one and has me prepared for step two – e.g. today I plan not to eat half a packet of Shrewsbury biscuits for morning tea. This month the focus is food (taking my herbs again) and exercise. Exercise has had a head start as the last few days we have walked on the beach in the evening (see image for the thrill of that). We being my daughter and I – as part of both our healing therapy (she is off school with her own chronic health issues).
I have also dramatically changed my thinking about wine. That it really doesn’t matter as much as I thought. If I can go a month without and feel, happier, then really it is not key to a good life huh?
I am still planning to give moderation a crack but feel less like it is the end of the world if I fail. The stakes are not so high. If I fail I can quit for good – something that gives me only a shiver of fear rather than total terror a cold sweat and instantaneous onset depression. I am not yet at the ‘take it or leave it’ approach recommended, but I am a lot closer – also there is basically nothing in life I have a take it or leave it approach to – I’m just not that girl.
My plan is to be able to say with integrity – “I really love a slow & mindful glass of wine or two with good company, but I also love to go to bed Sober and wake fresh (well as fresh is I can, chronic illness notwithstanding) so I have learnt when to say when”. Not very pithy but you get the gist.
During the ‘program’ I have also reconnected with my core values & vision and gotten inspired about some things I really want to do; use the ferry system at our door step to go and see some of our awesome offshore islands, take up pottery, go to our historic cinema, check out the latest galleries, night markets, continue the evening beach walks ….
So here I am, proudly 30 days with not a drop of alcohol. I did accidental inject myself with some opioids while nursing sick bunnies, but one can’t be perfect, and I’m pleased to say the bunnies look like they will pull through.
Thank you for coming on the journey with me, I really needed you a few times there. Hopefully you will be there for me on this months Journey to nail moderation in all things.
My deepest thanks go to Jack Cranfield & Dave Andrews for their passion for others and commitment to the project of this fantastic book.